And this is why, little by little, we have had to remove all the furniture from our house. JoJo can and will climb anything!!!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
one MORE to LOVE--a new Baby L
So I'm still feeling a bit unsettled at the loss of little Lisette, but we knew that if we were going to bring home 2 little girls at the same time that we would have to get another referral very quickly or the two girls would be way out of sync on their court process timeline. So we dove right back in and we were very blessed this weekend to have received another referral.
I'm taking a lot of deep breaths. And I'm a bit afraid to exhale.
Our new Baby will be another Baby L. As you might already know, our kids names are in alphabetical order: Grace, Haven, Immanuel, Josias, Baby K, and Baby L. We thought about skipping the L since it already belonged to Lisette and moving on to M, but we couldn't find just the right M name. Plus, I was a little concerned about my kids having to have the conversation later in life about why there was no L in their family name list. So there will be a Baby L. I'm really excited about the name we have chosen. And who knows, maybe there will be a Baby M some other day???
As with Baby K, we are not sharing any pictures on the blog until the girls are safely home in our arms. Then you will be forced to see hundreds of their pictures. But until then just imagine a tiny little face with creamy brown skin and sleepy eyes. Chubby cheeks and a beautiful cupids bow set of lips. Baby L looks remarkably like Baby K. So much so that I put the pictures side by side on my computer to make sure they weren't the same baby. If nothing changes, they will definitely look like sisters.
I can't wait for you to see them for yourselves!
I can't wait to hold them in my arms. So here we are, back to waiting again. Send up some prayers for us that this wait has a happy ending. I don't know if my heart can take anything less than a fairytale from here on out. I'm ready for a house full of princesses!
I'm taking a lot of deep breaths. And I'm a bit afraid to exhale.
Our new Baby will be another Baby L. As you might already know, our kids names are in alphabetical order: Grace, Haven, Immanuel, Josias, Baby K, and Baby L. We thought about skipping the L since it already belonged to Lisette and moving on to M, but we couldn't find just the right M name. Plus, I was a little concerned about my kids having to have the conversation later in life about why there was no L in their family name list. So there will be a Baby L. I'm really excited about the name we have chosen. And who knows, maybe there will be a Baby M some other day???
As with Baby K, we are not sharing any pictures on the blog until the girls are safely home in our arms. Then you will be forced to see hundreds of their pictures. But until then just imagine a tiny little face with creamy brown skin and sleepy eyes. Chubby cheeks and a beautiful cupids bow set of lips. Baby L looks remarkably like Baby K. So much so that I put the pictures side by side on my computer to make sure they weren't the same baby. If nothing changes, they will definitely look like sisters.
I can't wait for you to see them for yourselves!
I can't wait to hold them in my arms. So here we are, back to waiting again. Send up some prayers for us that this wait has a happy ending. I don't know if my heart can take anything less than a fairytale from here on out. I'm ready for a house full of princesses!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Yes, This Is A True Story
"Hey, what's that in Carrie's driveway? Is she going on a trip? It looks like an airport shuttle van."
"Did she get a new job? Maybe she's driving one of those park and ride vans to make a little extra money."
"Oh, maybe Brian finally started his own daycare!"
Nope. That's just my new ride. My new minivan. Or should we call it the MAXI-VAN. No, let's not call it that. Sounds too much like maxi-pad.
As I mentioned in my last post, our minivan lost its transmission on the way to church on Sunday. Some part of it snapped in half. Which rendered the van undriveable and beyond reasonable repair. It would need an entirely new transmission. Which would cost about $2000. Which was very possibly more than the value of the van. Plus, we were going to have to get a vehicle with enough seats for our soon to be family of 8, so it seemed senseless to put that much extra money into the old van. Mind you, we didn't plan to buy a new van until probably June, and only if we got really lucky on our tax return. So this did not come at a great time! But car trouble never seems to be convenient.
So as soon as our wonderful friend Melody had dropped us off at home (thank goodness for Melody!!!) I got online and started researching large family vehicles. We were looking for a 12 passenger van with no bench seats, captains chairs instead. This was such a specific sort of car that there were only a handful of them available within a 50 mile radius of our home.
That evening some more wonderful friends named Geraldine and Mike said that we could borrow their (lovely, clean, unspoiled by toddler hands) car because Mike was going to be out of town for few days and it would just be sitting at the airport anyway. What a life saver. We could actually leave the house with the kids and go car shopping. The next day we all hopped in their beautiful, vanilla scented car and headed out to the car dealership that seemed to have the best online deal for what we were looking for. It also happened to be the farthest away from our house. At least a full hour drive one way. Go figure.
A little more than half way there and I hear screaming. I turn around to discover that Grace has thrown up. A lot. OMG. In Geraldine's pristine leather seated car. OMG.
By now we are, of course, in a terrible part of town. But puke doesn't wait until you're in a nice neighborhood, now does it. We take the first possible exit off the interstate, pull into the first possible driveway and find ourselves at a "pay by the hour" kind of motel, if you know what I mean. We immediately agree that this is not where we want to stop and park the car. We continue down the road a few more blocks and find a grocery store. A little better.
We strategically lift Grace out of the car so as not to jostle any of the puke. Miraculously, she has not hit the leather seats, only a small dollop on the carpet. WhOOO! I breathe a small sigh of relief and try not to inhale the scent coming off of Grace. She is covered in goo. So there in the parking lot we strip her down, try to repair her and the car with baby wipes and then re-dress her in a spare set of clothes.
Oh yeah, we didn't have a spare set of clothes for Grace. She's 4, what does she needs spare clothes for anymore. She doesn't have leaky diapers or really get dirty very often. OMG.
So we put her in a pair of Manny's pants, the only spare piece of clothing in the diaper bag (yes, Manny has a big butt, but his legs are considerably shorter than Grace's) and her fleece coat (it is 75 degrees outside). That is all. No shoes and socks, they've been defiled.
Now what? We decide to carry on, push forward. We're more than halfway to the car dealership, what other disasters could lay in our path? Oh what fools we are.
We continue down the highway and arrive at another bad neighborhood where the dealership is located. It's one of those businesses where you can buy a car by making weekly payments to a greasy business manager with an extra long pinkie fingernail. What are those for anyway?
Brian goes inside while I stay in the car with the kids. He fills out some forms, test drives the car, fills out more forms. I have now been sitting in the car for an hour. The alternative is to go inside with all 4 kids. No thanks. Finally, Brian wants to make sure that we can safely attach our car seats to the van seats. While Brian, JoJo, and I are testing the seat, Grace suddenly realizes that she can't see me anymore and she starts to panic. Our car is just on the other side of the van, but the van blocks her vision and she FREAKS out. And wets her pants. In Geraldine's car.
I come around the corner and Grace's tear streaked, hysterical face is pressed against the window of the car. I can see that she is screaming and out of control. When I open the door I see she is now wearing a very wet pair of Manny pants. My poor girl. She has had a really hard time emotionally as of late and not knowing where we were when she suddenly had to go to the bathroom was just too much for her.
JoJo's sweat shirt jacket, zip it up, but Grace's legs in the arm holes and turn it into a makeshift pair of pants. This will get us home. I hope.
Brian comes out of the dealership and breaks some very bad news to me. We have to come back to this place again TOMORROW. NOOOOOOO!!!!! They need a copy of our insurance, 3 pay stubs, 2 bills that show proof of residence, and a list of 5 references. OMG.
We head home. It is now dark, we are hungry, Grace is half naked. It's pretty late to go home and cook so just before we get home we stop into Taco Bell to grab some tacos. While in the line of the drive through, wait for it, Grace throws up again! Just 2 highway exits from our house. UGGGG! This time we were prepared. We had given Grace a soda cup to get sick in if she felt it coming again. The girl has good aim. Not a drop on the car or herself. But by now she is a sobbing, smelly mess. And I feel like one as well.
We get home and survive the night with no more puking. We suspect it was car sickness brought on by watching DVDs on the big screen TV in Geraldine's wonderful car. So as we head out the next day, arrive at the dealership without anyone puking, peeing, or even crying. So far so good. This time we have to both fill out forms and sign paperwork so we are forced to drag our entire circus act into the dealership. Did I mention its not in a great neighborhood? Most of the car salesmen are heavily tattooed and smoking cigars with the plastic filter tips out in front of the building. We get a few stares. OK, we get all the stares. The crack addict and prostitute trying to buy a car that day are not nearly as interesting as my pack of puppies.
Clearly the business manager does not want us in his office for very long because this part of the car buying process happened with lightning speed. Suddenly we owned the car and we were on our way. By the time we got home the smell of puke had mostly dissipated from the back of Geraldine's car. Our new van had no broken down or exploded on the long drive back. And we are now the proud owners of a really big vehicle that makes that "BEEP BEEP BEEP" sound when you back up, like a garbage truck. Our neighbors will always know when we're leaving the house. It's a very glamorous ride!!!
OK, its not. But its big. And I have 3 extra spots that are ready for to be filled with baby car seats. So lets bring'em on already!!!
The moral of the story:
No more TV watching in the car.
Never leave home without a change of clothes for every child.
Never loan anything to my family and assume you will get it back in the same condition!
And most definitely--don't say "Oh Lord, what else could go wrong this week" because just as soon as you do you will wake up and step into a puddle in your bathroom. Yep, this morning I discovered our toilet has a small but steady leak in the tank. "Oh Lord, what else could go wrong this week"!!! Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that. :)
"Did she get a new job? Maybe she's driving one of those park and ride vans to make a little extra money."
"Oh, maybe Brian finally started his own daycare!"
Nope. That's just my new ride. My new minivan. Or should we call it the MAXI-VAN. No, let's not call it that. Sounds too much like maxi-pad.
As I mentioned in my last post, our minivan lost its transmission on the way to church on Sunday. Some part of it snapped in half. Which rendered the van undriveable and beyond reasonable repair. It would need an entirely new transmission. Which would cost about $2000. Which was very possibly more than the value of the van. Plus, we were going to have to get a vehicle with enough seats for our soon to be family of 8, so it seemed senseless to put that much extra money into the old van. Mind you, we didn't plan to buy a new van until probably June, and only if we got really lucky on our tax return. So this did not come at a great time! But car trouble never seems to be convenient.
So as soon as our wonderful friend Melody had dropped us off at home (thank goodness for Melody!!!) I got online and started researching large family vehicles. We were looking for a 12 passenger van with no bench seats, captains chairs instead. This was such a specific sort of car that there were only a handful of them available within a 50 mile radius of our home.
That evening some more wonderful friends named Geraldine and Mike said that we could borrow their (lovely, clean, unspoiled by toddler hands) car because Mike was going to be out of town for few days and it would just be sitting at the airport anyway. What a life saver. We could actually leave the house with the kids and go car shopping. The next day we all hopped in their beautiful, vanilla scented car and headed out to the car dealership that seemed to have the best online deal for what we were looking for. It also happened to be the farthest away from our house. At least a full hour drive one way. Go figure.
A little more than half way there and I hear screaming. I turn around to discover that Grace has thrown up. A lot. OMG. In Geraldine's pristine leather seated car. OMG.
By now we are, of course, in a terrible part of town. But puke doesn't wait until you're in a nice neighborhood, now does it. We take the first possible exit off the interstate, pull into the first possible driveway and find ourselves at a "pay by the hour" kind of motel, if you know what I mean. We immediately agree that this is not where we want to stop and park the car. We continue down the road a few more blocks and find a grocery store. A little better.
We strategically lift Grace out of the car so as not to jostle any of the puke. Miraculously, she has not hit the leather seats, only a small dollop on the carpet. WhOOO! I breathe a small sigh of relief and try not to inhale the scent coming off of Grace. She is covered in goo. So there in the parking lot we strip her down, try to repair her and the car with baby wipes and then re-dress her in a spare set of clothes.
Oh yeah, we didn't have a spare set of clothes for Grace. She's 4, what does she needs spare clothes for anymore. She doesn't have leaky diapers or really get dirty very often. OMG.
So we put her in a pair of Manny's pants, the only spare piece of clothing in the diaper bag (yes, Manny has a big butt, but his legs are considerably shorter than Grace's) and her fleece coat (it is 75 degrees outside). That is all. No shoes and socks, they've been defiled.
Now what? We decide to carry on, push forward. We're more than halfway to the car dealership, what other disasters could lay in our path? Oh what fools we are.
We continue down the highway and arrive at another bad neighborhood where the dealership is located. It's one of those businesses where you can buy a car by making weekly payments to a greasy business manager with an extra long pinkie fingernail. What are those for anyway?
Brian goes inside while I stay in the car with the kids. He fills out some forms, test drives the car, fills out more forms. I have now been sitting in the car for an hour. The alternative is to go inside with all 4 kids. No thanks. Finally, Brian wants to make sure that we can safely attach our car seats to the van seats. While Brian, JoJo, and I are testing the seat, Grace suddenly realizes that she can't see me anymore and she starts to panic. Our car is just on the other side of the van, but the van blocks her vision and she FREAKS out. And wets her pants. In Geraldine's car.
I come around the corner and Grace's tear streaked, hysterical face is pressed against the window of the car. I can see that she is screaming and out of control. When I open the door I see she is now wearing a very wet pair of Manny pants. My poor girl. She has had a really hard time emotionally as of late and not knowing where we were when she suddenly had to go to the bathroom was just too much for her.
JoJo's sweat shirt jacket, zip it up, but Grace's legs in the arm holes and turn it into a makeshift pair of pants. This will get us home. I hope.
Brian comes out of the dealership and breaks some very bad news to me. We have to come back to this place again TOMORROW. NOOOOOOO!!!!! They need a copy of our insurance, 3 pay stubs, 2 bills that show proof of residence, and a list of 5 references. OMG.
We head home. It is now dark, we are hungry, Grace is half naked. It's pretty late to go home and cook so just before we get home we stop into Taco Bell to grab some tacos. While in the line of the drive through, wait for it, Grace throws up again! Just 2 highway exits from our house. UGGGG! This time we were prepared. We had given Grace a soda cup to get sick in if she felt it coming again. The girl has good aim. Not a drop on the car or herself. But by now she is a sobbing, smelly mess. And I feel like one as well.
We get home and survive the night with no more puking. We suspect it was car sickness brought on by watching DVDs on the big screen TV in Geraldine's wonderful car. So as we head out the next day, arrive at the dealership without anyone puking, peeing, or even crying. So far so good. This time we have to both fill out forms and sign paperwork so we are forced to drag our entire circus act into the dealership. Did I mention its not in a great neighborhood? Most of the car salesmen are heavily tattooed and smoking cigars with the plastic filter tips out in front of the building. We get a few stares. OK, we get all the stares. The crack addict and prostitute trying to buy a car that day are not nearly as interesting as my pack of puppies.
Clearly the business manager does not want us in his office for very long because this part of the car buying process happened with lightning speed. Suddenly we owned the car and we were on our way. By the time we got home the smell of puke had mostly dissipated from the back of Geraldine's car. Our new van had no broken down or exploded on the long drive back. And we are now the proud owners of a really big vehicle that makes that "BEEP BEEP BEEP" sound when you back up, like a garbage truck. Our neighbors will always know when we're leaving the house. It's a very glamorous ride!!!
OK, its not. But its big. And I have 3 extra spots that are ready for to be filled with baby car seats. So lets bring'em on already!!!
The moral of the story:
No more TV watching in the car.
Never leave home without a change of clothes for every child.
Never loan anything to my family and assume you will get it back in the same condition!
And most definitely--don't say "Oh Lord, what else could go wrong this week" because just as soon as you do you will wake up and step into a puddle in your bathroom. Yep, this morning I discovered our toilet has a small but steady leak in the tank. "Oh Lord, what else could go wrong this week"!!! Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that. :)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
When It Rains It Pours
I need a really big umbrella.
I don't mean to complain but so far this week...
Obviously, somebody out there thought we were just a little too happy, a little to comfortable. Well, I don't care what else goes wrong this week, we are adopting two more baby girls, dammit! Baby K is going to come home with a sister. We are going to have 6 kids. Maybe more! Don't push me! We are going to have to buy a 10 passenger van after all.
So I guess we will just have to hand wash our dishes. And use the front door instead of the garage. And not drive anywhere as a group for awhile (the car I drive to work only holds 4 people). And we'll eat a lot of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. And we'll just save a little more and scrimp a little more and pray a little.
And we'll lean on all of you a little more. We'll need your prayers and we'll need your help to get our girls home. I'm really needing that cup of coffee about now.
Where Baby K is living right now there is no dishwasher (barely even running water), no car and no garage. Not even any mac and cheese. Maybe all this is just to remind us how important it is to stay the course. To stay humble.
Well, I'd better be going. Grace and Haven are throwing me a birthday day party. No, its not my birthday, but I think Grace senses that we all need a party. She made every one party hats and everything. We're having chocolate milk and popcorn. I feel better already!
P.S. A HUGE thank you to Melody for coming and picking us up and driving us home in the middle of church. You are the BEST!
I don't mean to complain but so far this week...
- our daughter-to-be, little Lisette, died of malaria
- our dishwasher broke. Not a big surprise, since it has only washed about half the dishes we put inside of it, half the time.
- our garage door opener is broken.
- and on the way to church this morning our minivan broke down. We had just gotten off the highway when it felt like it slipped out of gear. We managed to limp into a gas station parking lot, but we fear that the old beast is ready for the scrapyard. She has over 190,000 miles on her. If we have to replace the transmission it will easily cost $2000 to $3000. Oh, I'll bet that's $2000 that we don't have because we are in the middle of adopting two more children. But we also don't currently have a car payment so its not really in our budget to purchase a new (make that used) van. Although we know that we can't all fit in our current minivan once the girls are home because it only seats 6 and we were going to have to break down and buy a new car at some point. But really, did it have to happen this week. REALLY. I didn't have enough to feel crappy about already!
Obviously, somebody out there thought we were just a little too happy, a little to comfortable. Well, I don't care what else goes wrong this week, we are adopting two more baby girls, dammit! Baby K is going to come home with a sister. We are going to have 6 kids. Maybe more! Don't push me! We are going to have to buy a 10 passenger van after all.
So I guess we will just have to hand wash our dishes. And use the front door instead of the garage. And not drive anywhere as a group for awhile (the car I drive to work only holds 4 people). And we'll eat a lot of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. And we'll just save a little more and scrimp a little more and pray a little.
And we'll lean on all of you a little more. We'll need your prayers and we'll need your help to get our girls home. I'm really needing that cup of coffee about now.
Where Baby K is living right now there is no dishwasher (barely even running water), no car and no garage. Not even any mac and cheese. Maybe all this is just to remind us how important it is to stay the course. To stay humble.
Well, I'd better be going. Grace and Haven are throwing me a birthday day party. No, its not my birthday, but I think Grace senses that we all need a party. She made every one party hats and everything. We're having chocolate milk and popcorn. I feel better already!
P.S. A HUGE thank you to Melody for coming and picking us up and driving us home in the middle of church. You are the BEST!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Baby L
As quickly as she arrived and became our daughter, she was gone.
It is with a very heavy heart that I write to let you all know that yesterday afternoon we lost another referral. And this time it is a real loss to the whole world. Another baby lost to malaria.
Our precious Baby L was to be called Lisette Josephine. She was chubby and sweet faced. She had chocolate brown eyes and a head full of hair. I imagine from her picture that she had a calm disposition and was a cuddler. But I'll never really know for sure.
I do know for certain that she was loved. Loved by a family an ocean away. Loved by a foster family that had the awful responsibility of preparing her burial and attending her funeral. Loved by a God who knew her little body was suffering terribly and took her home where she would never feel pain or hunger or loneliness again.
I'm going to show you her picture. I want you to know her. I want to show proof that she existed. That she mattered to someone. That she was loved dearly.
Well, I can't stand the thought of another baby dying without a family. I can't stand the thought of our girl's room not being filled up with sisters. So we wait again. We are ready to move forward with another referral because there are millions of children in Congo, more and more everyday, who will spend the rest of their lives in an orphanage. And Grace and Baby K need another sister. And I need her too. I'm going to finish Lisette's rose puzzle and add it to our bouquet. She was a beautiful little flower.
It is with a very heavy heart that I write to let you all know that yesterday afternoon we lost another referral. And this time it is a real loss to the whole world. Another baby lost to malaria.
Our precious Baby L was to be called Lisette Josephine. She was chubby and sweet faced. She had chocolate brown eyes and a head full of hair. I imagine from her picture that she had a calm disposition and was a cuddler. But I'll never really know for sure.
I do know for certain that she was loved. Loved by a family an ocean away. Loved by a foster family that had the awful responsibility of preparing her burial and attending her funeral. Loved by a God who knew her little body was suffering terribly and took her home where she would never feel pain or hunger or loneliness again.
I'm going to show you her picture. I want you to know her. I want to show proof that she existed. That she mattered to someone. That she was loved dearly.
I'm really struggling with this loss. It was impossibly hard to be at work today, to make small talk and concentrate on things that suddenly seem so ridiculously unimportant. I wanted just wanted to curl up and lay on the ground.
I know there are probably people out there thinking this is an extreme reaction over a child I never met. And I suppose I should learn to guard my heart. But I just can't. The moment I see that picture for the first time, they're mine. It has happened with all of my kids. I didn't have to carry them in my body for 9 months, I just had to stare at them on my computer for a few hours and they're mine.
So my daughter died yesterday and I just really don't know what to do with that. I never even got to kiss her and tell her I loved her.
Why do babies like Lisette have to die? Maybe so that adults will stop for a moment and look at the way we've screwed up the world.
So the next obvious question is what now?
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